Couch Therapy

Have you ever just had one-of-those-days?

Well, that's what today was for me--up until about two seconds ago when I just so happened to check my Facebook inbox. There in my messages was a sweet note from my husband King, telling me that he was sorry that I'd been so frustrated today and that he hoped my day got better. Just when I was feeling at my crummiest, my valiant Galahad comes rushing in on his white horse and makes me feel all tingly and warm inside. Ahhh...much better.

I get frazzled easily--very easily. I have two basic reactions when it comes to stress. One, I work even harder at what I'm trying to accomplish and find myself taking charge in a weird, Superwoman kind of way. Or two, I completely lose my cool, cry until I have a splitting headache, and/or throw a tantrum (which may actually involve throwing real objects sometimes). Wow, I'm not sure if I've ever really admitted that (or let anyone see that part of me) to anyone else besides King. What you must think of me now. Gee, is this lady nuts? Does she suffer from depression? Is she always that violent?

Of course not. I'm simply a woman who has a tendency to let the small things get the best of her. I don't have anger issues. I don't have a bad temper. Sometimes, I just rely too much on myself to get through the rough patches.

Today was definitely one-of-those-days. One of those so called "rough patches." Here I am, almost 35 weeks pregnant and in panic mode over my "nest." My baby boy's room isn't ready yet, we have almost 2 rooms in our house that are completely filled with junk, and I still don't have my new dishwasher hooked up and ready to go (thus I have a sink full of dishes, and we all know how I feel about doing dishes). I take a look around me and don't even know where to begin. Do I just start pitching stuff in the trash? Do I wash dishes first (uggghhh!) Do I wash baby clothes even though I have no furniture to put them in yet (we're waiting on my Dad to refinish a couple pieces for us)? Gee, where to start? All I really want to do is sit on the couch and cry. But for some reason, as I'm sitting here on the couch writing all these feelings down, not one single tear comes to my eyes.

I guess King really did save the day! He reassured me by letting me know that he loves me, and that he's here for me. He even told me that he'd help do whatever he could when he gets off work tonight. What a sweet, thoughtful man! He's such a wonderful husband, and he's going to be a knock-it-out-of-park kind of Dad. I'm so blessed to have him in my life. The one and only thing that could make this couch therapy session better was if he was here with me. Sometimes, you need your husband to fix things. Sometimes, you need him to listen. And then there are times when all you need are his shoulders--simply to cry on.

A Quick Look at My 30th Week

In my last post, I included a photo of me at 26 weeks pregnant. Since that was a month ago, I thought I'd give you a more recent photo of me at 30 weeks pregnant.




Ironically enough, I've been telling my husband how small I think I look. That is, until I saw these pictures that he took of me. I'm not sure if it's the angle from which they were taken, or if I really am that big--but boy--am I getting big or what? I guess I should really say that Ian is the one who's getting big!

The funny thing is that I don't feel that big. If I wasn't so out of shape from skipping out on my work-out routines, then I'd still feel able to run, jump, and do Zumba like I did before getting pregnant. I'm still able to get down in the floor and get back up. I feel like I'm the same woman that I was back a few months ago--the only difference is that I'll be having a baby in a few weeks. Yeah, I get a little more tired, and I have a few more backaches than normal but still--I feel great! I just can't get over how much these photos make me look anything but great. I'm definitely not trying to throw myself a pity party here or looking for some pity--that's just not my style. I suppose I'm merely making an observation on how skewed our perceptions can be of ourselves. I sure am glad I've been taking photos throughout this pregnancy! Now I have the proof that I'm not as tiny as I thought :)

Gee, I'm Awful At Posting Pregnancy Updates

So ten weeks have come and gone without filling you all in on the happenings of my pregnancy. That's a long time. There goes one fourth of my pregnancy that you have absolutely no documentation of. Sorry. I'm terrible at blogging (as if you hadn't already figured that one out on your own).

Where did I leave off? Ah yes, King and I were about to find out the gender of our sweet, little, precious baby. I'm excited to announce that we are having a little boy (not to mention that we'll be having this little boy in less than 10 weeks). When the ultrasound technician asked if we wanted to know the gender, I wanted her to be as sure as sure can be before telling us. When I asked if she was sure, she said, "Oh yeah. I'm sure. It's a boy." I guess boys make their presence known a little more so than little girls.

King was elated. I could tell the moment that the word "boy" escaped from the lips of our technician that he was one proud papa. I think it's inherent in all males to want a son on the first go-round. And that's fine by me. I'm glad King can pass on those charming good looks to our baby boy. All along, I knew it was going to be a boy but for some reason, I kept holding on to the idea that our baby could be a littel girl too. Just like it's natural for men to want sons, I also think it's natural for women to want daughters. It's just what we know. After months of waiting we finally knew that a little BOY was on his way. And we couldn't be any more thrilled.

Unfortunately, we didn't have a boy's name picked out for our little one. We had a girl's name picked out from day one, but that special moniker for that sweet baby boy was nowhere to be found. One day I happened upon a name that I thought I might like and saved it for King when he came home from work that evening. He walked in the door and I said, "I think I have a name, but I don't think you'll like it." He didn't say "NO!" immediately but I just knew that it was going to get thrown out just like all the other names we had discussed. Instead, we compromised and said that we'd both think about it and practice using it for a while...just to see how we liked it. After a couple of weeks, I remember driving home one evening and admitting to King that I had already started attributing that name to our little boy--and I couldn't help it. In my mind, that was HIS name even though we hadn't set anything in stone yet. Later on (I can't remember if it was later than night or another time), we were laying in bed and King said "Let's do it. Let's give our son the name." What a sweet moment. We finally had a name picked out for our baby boy, and I'll never forget the way his Daddy's face lit up when he said "Let's do it." As I sit here thinking about that moment, I can't help but almost cry. It really was a very tender moment--perhaps one of my very favorite memories concerning this pregnancy.

So the name? Ian King Simpson. Finally giving our son a name has made everything seem that much more real, that it's not just some creature growing inside me, but a little person with a name, an identity, a personality. And one day, Ian King will be a little boy sitting on the floor on his first day of kindergarten. And then one day, Ian King will be a teenage boy going to his prom and high school graduation. And then one day, Ian King will be a man with his own family--hopefully giving his Mom and Dad lots and lots of beautiful grandbabies.

I think I've given enough updates for one day. Momma's getting a little too emotional:)

Growing Mama (and Growing Baby, too!)

I'm now at 20 weeks---HALFWAY THERE! Oh my goodness. I will be having a baby in just a few short months. This pregnancy is flying by way too fast. But I'm loving every minute of it. It's been glorious. No morning sickness. No aches or pains. Nothing really to complain about. I only hope that my last few months are worry free, and that my labor and delivery go smoothly.

King and I have just started childbirth classes at the hospital where I'll be delivering. We've just been to one class, but we're already feeling at ease about some of the concerns and/or questions that we've had (i.e. cord blood banking, hospital rules and regulations, post delivery care, etc.) We even started practicing our breathing and relaxation classes. And let me tell ya, I was definitely relaxed--almost to the point of falling asleep. Let's hope that I can find that happy, relaxed place when the baby starts to come!

Oh, and in other big pregnancy news....we have another ultrasound on Monday. I can't believe it's already time to find out the gender of our sweet little baby. I think King is more ready to find out than I am. For some reason, I'm nervous. But excited all at the same time!



Here are some new pregnancy photos. First two are at 18 weeks (I believe) and last three are at 20 weeks.

Me: Fifteen Weeks Pregnant

Ok, so here's the deal. I have a love/hate relationship with posting baby belly pics on facebook. One part of me wants to throw caution to the wind and jump on the bandwagon. Just do it, as Nike would say. Another part of me wants to erase any and all related thoughts about baby belly pics from my mind.

This is where I compromise. I desperately want to document the journey of this pregnancy, but I'm just not quite sure how open I want to be about airing my belly size. Instead of showcasing my new bod to 500 plus facebook friends, I think I'll opt to do it via blogger. That way, I have my documentation and I don't feel like every single person I know is recording my belly shape and size. Of course, those pregnancy hormones I keep hearing about might change my mind and you may see some photos creep up onto my facebook page. We'll see.

Anyway. This is me at 15 weeks pregnant. At first, I was thinking that I was going to show really early and blow up to the size of a hot air balloon. Now I'm not so sure. I guess part of me just always automatically assumed that I'd be one of those pregnant ladies with a big ole belly. Maybe not. It's still up in the air.

Weddings Are Wonderful

**Sigh**

I'm feeling sorry for myself.

When I look on Facebook, all I see are countless posts from FB friends who are planning their upcoming weddings and engagement/wedding photography blog posts from recent weddings. And it's making me sad.

Weddings are happy. Marriage is wonderful. I loved my wedding, my husband is a blessing, and I couldn't be happier where we are today. But I can't help but feel a little sad that I don't have a wedding to plan for this spring and summer.

Don't get me wrong. I'm more than thrilled for anyone tying the knot. It's a big step and a huge committment; one not to be taken lightly. I sincerely hope that all couples take time to really consider what they're getting into--pledging their love and their lives to one another in front of God, their families, and their friends. Promising fidelity, loyalty, and friendship that will last forever.

Ok, getting a little off topic here. As you can tell, I'm really into marriage. But that's a whole other blog post...

Anyway, I'm just a teensy bit sad that I'll never have another wedding to plan. (I don't like to entertain the thought that I could ever remarry. Again, another blog post. To keep it short, King's the only husband for me.) Yes, my niece Sydney may call on me for help one of these days, or I might have a daughter one day who will need me. But the difference is that I won't be the one in the driver's seat. I'll just be a helper. I couldn't have made it through our wedding without all my little helpers--my mom, sister, niece, aunts, cousins, etc. They were all so wonderful! But I'll never be the one to make the decisions again.

**Sigh**

Oh well. I'm happy. I'm happily married to a happily married man, and we're happily expecting our first baby in a few short months. In case you haven't noticed, I'm happy. So in honor of how happy I am, I'll show you a few photos from THE HAPPIEST day of my life--August 7th, 2010--the day I married King.

Enjoy.

Sick and Scared

I haven't been a very dedicated blogger the past few weeks, and for that, I apologize. I've had some other things going on. Mainly, it warmed up there for a little piece and I was able to spend some time outside. Sewing and blogging were far removed from my mind. Secondly, I had been away on a business trip with my husband this week and was stuck in bed, sick as a dog.

Yes. Sick. It started out as simple nausea, which I thought I could handle. I'm 15 weeks pregnant, so of course, I chalked it up to morning sickness. Here I was, already in my second trimester, considering myself lucky that I had made it through the first several months of pregnancy without getting that dreaded morning sickness. And wha-bam! It hits me.

As it turns out, it wasn't just morning sickness and nausea. And this is where I stop with the details and you can fill in with your own imagination. From my short stint as a microbiologist (ok, I took one class for college a year ago), I was sure that I had some type of foodborne illness. I was thinking salmonella, Staphylococcus aureaus, Escherichia coli, etc. I also considered toxoplasmosis, which I would have contracted from my sweet cat, Theo.

I called my ob/gyn's office and spoke to one of his nurses. She suggested an OTC medicine for a simple "stomach bug". Whatever that means. Luckily, I had some of the medicine here at the house, took it, and felt fine. My husband and I were supposed to be leaving for Frankfort that day for a business trip. At the time, I felt well enough to travel the 3 1/2 hour long drive and thought I was better. Made the trip just fine, no problem. Unfortunately, I was not better the next day. In fact, I was worse. There I was, in a strange city, by myself at the hotel while King was at his conference, sick and scared that I was going to need medical attention. Normally, I wouldn't have been so concerned. But when you're pregnant (especially pregnant with your first child), you just worry more than normal. King was worried. I was worried. My folks at home were worried. Dehydration could have set it at any moment, and I was scared that I was going to find myself in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV. I was scared for our baby. It was late one night, and I finally called my own hospital in Bowling Green and spoke to one of the ob's on call. He didn't sound too concerned, thought it was just a "G.I. bug" and told me to stay hydrated. I felt a little more relieved. But, I was still worried about traveling home the next day....

Thankfully, we made it home it what seemed like an hour. A 3 to 3 1/2 hour long trip took no time. Now I'm home, feeling better, and getting more rest just in case I'm not 100%.

The moral of the story is this: it's scary to be sick in a strange city when you're alone in a hotel room for most of the day--especially when you're pregnant.

Another added moral of the story: never travel when you think you could be sick. Even if you think you could be feeling better. Just stay at home. Or if you're like me and scared to stay by yourself, stay with someone else. Stay with your mom; she'll take care of you. This is what I should have done!