It is absolutely, awesomely incredible to see the changes that the Lord is instilling in me; in fact, God's presence has never been more visible in my life, my family's lives, and my church's life until just here recently. Man, things are really starting to spark, and I'm anxious to see the fire build.
There have been several things weighing on my heart recently, and I can't even begin to scratch the surface of what all God has placed there upon me.
A few weeks ago, I started reading a book called "The Lost Art of True Beauty" by Leslie Ludy, and she has really opened my eyes to the world beyond ME, someone I find myself getting too wrapped up in each and every day. As a young woman, I have been searching for ways to get passed all the materialistic, vain thoughts and pressures of the secular world and find true beauty that can only come from Christ. In today's society, it's so hard to escape from all the pressures of achieving beauty and making it last. Think about all the things we as women go through just to look beautiful in the world's eyes. Losing weight. Dyeing our hair. Changing outfits 6 times before walking out of the house. Taking diet pills. Going to the tanning bed. Injecting botulism toxin, the most DEADLY poison on the planent, (aka BOTOX)into our faces to reduce wrinkles. And all this for what? So we'll entice other men besides our boyfriends/husbands? To be the center of attention? To look prettier than other women who we consider to be our very best friends? But if you stop and think about it, today's woman is no different and faces no more difficult circumstances than women of past generations, centuries, and millenia have faced. Foot binding, corsets, and lip plates are just a few examples of practices that women have endured over the course of human life.
As I was studying Leslie Ludy's book, I noticed that she kept reiterating selflessness as a mark of a truly beautiful woman. From her book, I was directed to her website, www.setapartgirl.com, and found that a lot of her work goes into helping and advocating for the impoverished, the hungry, orphans, and young women and girls who are forced into prostitution or who have been kidnapped into the sex trafficking industry. Some of the video links and articles that I read literally broke my heart, and I found myself crying out to God for these helpless women and children. My heart aches for these people.
All I can think about is that I'm a young woman about to receive a college degree, living in the most abundantly blessed country in the world, with the freedom to love and marry whomever I choose, without ever worrying where my next meal or drink of water will come from, and who lays down to sleep every night in my own air-conditioned (or heated) bedroom beneath a strong, tin roof. I have over 300 channels of satellite TV in my own room, a closet literally over-flowing with clothes and shoes, and books of my choosing strewn all over the room. And yet, to top it all off, I find myself constantly complaining about my "hard" life--over the silliest, most petty things, like school, not having the most fashionable wardrobe, and my job. Does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?
Some of the best, most influential books we read or sermons we hear are the ones that make us the maddest, simply because they point out our own flaws and sins. As people who sin constantly, we need that extra accountability--that extra person there to help us see what we're doing wrong and what we could do to do better. I am so thankful for Leslie Ludy and her study. She's helped me realize just how selfish and spoiled I really am.
Since beginning her book and after going on her website, I have been asking God for guidance on how I might become selfless. I have felt utterly helpless in helping the world, and so I've really been digging deep to find what it is that the Lord wants me to do. During all this, a Christian radio station that I listen to hosted a Compassion International child sponsorship drive just a few days ago. I thought to myself--maybe, just maybe--this was God's answer to all my prayers. In between classes one day, I went online and investigated the organization's website--just to check for legitimacy--and decided to look through the list of children who needed sponsors. Because I have felt a strong gravitation toward Cambodia, Thailand, and India (due to the booming sex trafficking industry in those countries), I wanted to search for a young girl there to support. Some of these young girls are as young as 6, 7, and 8 years old, and I become absolute enraged at the depravity of this world when I think of my own niece--who is 8--and how if she lived in one of these Asian countries, she might be in a brothel right now waiting to solicit a local or tourist. With that in mind, I narrowed my search to an Indian, 8-year-old female. I found a young girl, read her profile, and felt confident that the Lord was calling me and K. to support her. As I scrolled back up to the top of the screen, I happened to look at her name again. To my surprise and literal jaw-dropping shock, this young girl and I share the same last name! To think that a white, Kentucky girl like me-- with one of the most unique last names I've ever heard--could share a last name with a young Indian girl on the opposite side of the world! I knew from then on, from that moment of the metaphorical red, neon arrow pointing to that little girl on my screen, that this was God's answer to my prayers. And so, K. and I have decided to sponsor this precious little girl in India, and we're more than excited to start the process! I know that it's goinng to be a truly amazing experience that K. and I will treasure for the rest of our lives.
I say all this to encourage you to look beyond yourself and evaluate your own selflessness. I have noticed that in my own life, I have begun to experience more joy and happiness out of thinking less of myself and valuing others as more important. I am not saying that you have to sponsor a child to become selfless; in fact, there are many ways that we can all do this in our everyday lives. Send a card to someone you appreciate and often take for granted. Babysit for a couple who needs a night out. Lend someone a quarter at a vending machine. Sometimes, the simplest acts of kindness mean the most to us. Leslie Ludy mentions in her book that she calls these acts "rainbow sprinkles" on top of the ice cream: they brighten someone's ice cream eating experience just by being that little extra something on top.
This story is just one of the many things that the Lord has placed on my heart. I'm anxiously waiting to see what He is going to do from this day forward. The best is yet to come...
Fantastic post!
ReplyDeleteI think it is wonderful you have adopted/sponsored a young girl. In history my last semester in college I did a report on the sex-trafficking industry and read a book by Siddharth Kara that also brought me to tears. It is not just happening overseas, but also in the United States. Congrats on being inspired to take action instead of just sitting around.
There are pressures on women (and men) alike to conform to societies view of what role each sex should play in life. I don't necessarily think that these all come from the "secular" world. A lot of pressures come also from the "religious" world under the guise of what "God wants" you to do (i.e., a man being able to marry many women, take young 13 year old girls as wives, a woman being stoned to death because she went into public without a man accompanying her, women staying with their abusive husband because her family should shun her if she divorces him). Sadly, there are pressures from every direction. Including those which are supposed to be "moral" and "good."
I decided to make a change shortly after Ava was born. I read an article in Mothering Magazine about how important it is for mothers to set an example for daughters--especially when it comes to what is "beautiful." I was very moved by this article. Since then I have been working hard to live naturally and as simply as possible.
For a while, I really felt alone in my endeavors. I would go out with some of my friends and not wear makeup, or wear my hair curly and natural--and I would feel ashamed and silly. I'd even imagine that Nathan would "stop loving" me because I don't spend hours and hours "perfecting" myself. Honestly, I am still bothered sometimes, but I am working on it. ;) Like, I mentioned before---we need validation for doing what we do.
I am thrilled to see you becoming more and more comfortable and satisfied with your life. I am happy for you (and K.)
Here is a link you might enjoy: http://1greengeneration.elementsintime.com/?p=2015
You're right, it's not just the secular world that influences us. And to be honest, I think that's the problem. Most all of our religious communities--rather than setting themselves apart, as we are all called to do--find themselves embodying and admiring most of these undesirable traits and qualities. The examples you gave were great. It just goes to show how some people, by leaning on their own religiosity, use God or whomever they worship as a way to justify the desires that arise from their own hearts. It's often convenient for some of us to use God as an excuse to do all the things that we ourselves want to do.
ReplyDeleteI'm not as active as you are in trying to live a more natural life; however, I have noticed that I am more aware of my actions and how things that I once thought were completely normal are actually affecting the earth and others around me. But, hey, isn't that where it all starts? I have taken certain measures to live more naturally, like being careful about how much medications (even something as simple as Advil)I take, opting to use more natural forms of contraception in the future as opposed to using hormones, and refusing to ever tan or dye my hair again. One of my greatest struggles is eliminating cokes from my diet. I know they're awful, and I try to drink them in moderation. But when I'm lacking on sleep--like so many other busy-body Americans--I just need that caffeine to function!
I think it's great that you're successful at going more natural. It's so convenient to take the easy way out. But good for you in sticking to your guns! I think A. will definitely appreciate that one day. When she's in school, she may think you're a weirdo because so-and-so's mother doesn't compost, make their own laundry detergent, or sew, but she'll grow out of that one day and realize just how much of a super-awesome mom you are. It's a big sacrifice that you're making--one that really shows just how much you care. So keep on keepin' on!
I also tried going without make-up. I liked it just because I could rub my face or eyes and not have to worry about getting make-up all over me! That was absolutely the best part about it for me! But, I had people constantly tell me how tired I looked and that I was too young to look so stressed. And so, I'm back to the make-up but I definitely try not to over-do it. Make-up was originally made to enhance our own natural features, not change them completely. I make my face natural, and try not to make myself look "too sexy," as silly as that may sound.
I checked out your link. Very interesting, and it made a lot of sense! We're the ones who invented all the conveniences of this country, and there are billions of other people on this planet who live bare and simple. Some of these people are literally dirt-poor--living in disease-infested huts with no access to food and water. And yet, many of these people don't know any differently and seem genuinely content. Of course, that's not always the case. There is a lot of suffering in this world that people just can't escape from.
The last thing anyone wants is someone walking up to them and saying, “Hey, what you are doing is w-r-o-n-g.” We need to feel validated in our actions in order to keep that from happening. People pull from wherever they need to in order to have that happen—the bible (or other religious text), science, the experience of others---wherever they can find. I mean, how many times have you heard a smoking mom say, “So-and-so did it and her baby turned out just fine.” It makes us feel better to have others in the same boat as us, even if that boat has a huge hole in it and is sinking fast into shark infested water.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are pretty active in living a more natural life to me! I don’t know if I ever would have kicked caffeine from my diet if I hadn’t gotten pregnant with A. James. I still drink sodas occasionally, but they are always caffeine free. I’ve been trying to switch to water, tea, and juice though. It is hard; sometimes it is just nice to have that sweet taste Ha-ha. To me living naturally/ simply isn’t about giving away all of your personal belongings and living in a stick house out in the woods. It is more about (doing what you are doing) and being mindful about your actions and decisions and how they influence your own wellbeing as well as others around you. Being in control of your own life (or making an attempt to be), instead of letting the busy-busy world control you is the ultimate goal for me.
I am slowly getting used to having people think that I am weird for doing things. Reading the blogs of other mother’s like me (and having the sewing group with other young interested gals) has really helped (see, I need the validation!) I just need to become more comfortable with “me” and not let it bother me when/if people make snide comments. Actually, having A. James’ future friends mock me and hurt her feelings is one of my biggest fears. Yikes! What do you do in situations like that? What do I do if she wants to start listening to Hannah Montana, shop at Abercrombie and go to Jonas Brother concerts because all of her friends are doing it? That is my worst nightmare!
People told you that you were tired and stressed when you didn’t wear makeup? Are you sure it was because you weren’t wearing makeup? Did you have a rough night and THAT is why you weren’t wearing makeup (no time) and maybe you were actually tired and stressed? I don’t go completely without it all the time. I still wear mascara and (sometimes) eyeliner, but I’ve stopped using foundation and powder (it is easier in the summer because I get kind of tan anyway). I understand where you are coming from though. If people told me that I looked tired/stressed I wouldn’t give it up either.